My sleep is off because I keep going to sleep too early. Been working the 7 to 3:30 shift and I'm loving it! But I need to get to bed early to get out of the house as early as I can. That's pretty hard since I'm such a night owl but I been doing it! Right now I'm going to sleep at about 7pm and waking up at 1am. WTF??
The last few weeks have been a little trying and busy. School started for the kids on August 23rd. Jason is in the 7th grade now, Felicia is in the 4th grade and Sam is in the 2nd.
We got Jason a cell phone this summer. ONLY because he's 12 and he would be taking the bus home by himself this year! (I'm sooooo NOT a fan of unecessary cell phones for kids!) We gotta save on childcare this year, it's been KILLING us! So Jason has shown that he can be very responsible by staying home by himself for a few hours in the afternoon. The childcare payments have been CRAZY!
Especially with that damn karate! Even though this is extracurricular, I STILL gotta pay it! I could go on and on about how karate made me HATE organized sports with never ending contracts and obligations. That bastard could've canceled our contract, he just didn't want to. My kids no longer WANT to do karate, but we're OBLIGATED by our contract to continue for the next 23 MONTHS!!! WTF?? I wanted to kick somebody's ASS for holding that gun to my head and making me sign that thing! But it's my fault and my loss and now we have to deal with it!
So when I went into the karate place and screamed and cried like a crazy person, the owner decided to transfer my contract over to aftercare (no beforecare for my kid's school, apparently only select schools because their asses are to LAZY to get up early to take my kids to school, but whatever!) So now, my crying got me a discount on aftercare to supplement my karate contract and got my downpayment and registration fees waived. I'm still being SCREWED but at least he lubed it up for me!
Anyway. Karate is that thorn in my side. So much to the point where I can't even stand going IN that place anymore. We just hover around the outside and WILL the kids out through telepathy! LOL!
But anyway, work has been........well, just work. I feel like the IRS is sticking it to us and we're working for NOTHING right now. Still not financially stable enough to buy a house, but the rent keeps going up on our apartment. Right now we are paying MORTGAGE prices and we don't even OWN anything. We just keep getting ourselves more and more in debt. I'm starting to think that owning a house is not even in my future. I wanted the kids to be able to run around in the yard and stuff, but by the time we do all that, they not gonna want to!
My job has just been a way to make ends meet. I make a good amount of money, I definitely have to say that, but the debt KILLS me! I see people who make WAY less than I do go on all kinds of trips, they always got new clothes and shoes, hair and nails always done. but yet I wear the SAME few outfits every couple weeks, the SAME shoes over and over, I can't WAIT for the winter to come so I can use the SAME coat I been wearing for the past two years! All I CAN say is that I at least put aside some money to go out from time to time and to keep my nails and my hair presentable. My job is very customer service focused, so I at least need THAT!
It kills Karl that I have some side money, but he won't ever let me know that. It's not a lot. Lately I haven't needed to get my hair done because of the braids, so that's going to bills. And my nails have been $30 a the MOST! So whatever! I think he wonders how much I spend when I go out, but really I don't go too many places that don't have some kinda "free" option! I go and spend time with my girlfriends at their houses, just to get outta the house. That's all! Company, movies, maybe one drink, mostly free! No cover charges, no new outfits needed, just come as you are. I love it. And I definitely need the wind down after a long week!
But I guess since Karl doesn't have many friends, it kinda bothers him that I wanna spend at least one day out. We argue a lot, but staying in the house just looking at him watching me is soooo not where I want to be. Things are weird now. He's in this mood where he's like - well I guess this is what our "marriage" is going to be even though that's not MY view on marriage. Whatever dude. I don't know if we're growing apart or what, but I'm definitely getting tired.
It's just one of those DAYS!!
I was working from home, so things should've been smooth, but the kids were here making all kinds of noises while I was supposed to be working.
I know the ONLY reason they are PSYCHO is because I'm rubbing off on them. But whatever. I guess I'll have THAT to deal with when they are teenagers.
I had a fight with a friend today and I don't even know why. It was kinda like a silent fight, but it was a fight. I guess I won't be having THAT friend anymore. Whatever.
I'm just in a "whatever" kinda mood today. I guess.